Below is an actual* conversation that took place as Jared was preparing for a trip, meaning he was determining which movies to take with him, and, being the good husband that he is, he tries to take movies I have little to no interest in seeing. See why I keep him around?
Jared: Do you want to see The Adjustment Bureau? It’s the one with Matt Damon.
Me: Matt Damon, like, fat and with a mustache? Or hot?
Me: I mean, it matters.
J: No mustache, I think. How about Unknown? It’s like Taken with Liam Neeson.
Me: But who does it have in it?
J: Liam Neeson.
Me: But Taken had Liam Neeson.
Me: So, he did the same movie twice?
J: Do you want to see it or not?
J: You haven’t seen this one.
Me: But … ok, fine. Yes. I liked it well enough the first time.
J: *eye roll*
I should probably mention that he listed, like, six other movies that I swear I’ve never even heard of. I don’t understand. I watch the television. I occasionally go to the movie theater. Is it that everything that’s not Harry Potter just fails to make an impact on me? Except I knew what Arthur was, because I love the idea of Helen Mirren and Russell Brand being all inappropriate and flirty during the promotional tour.
*Of course, by “actual” I mean as I remember it, which may or may not be accurate because, uh, memory of a goldfish over here. Oooh! Bubbles!